Star Crash is a beautiful (see also: horrific) attempt to rip off Star Wars ahead of the film’s release in Italy. Its original name was Scontri Stellari Oltre la Terza Dimensione (Stellar Clashes Beyond the Third Dimension), but for reasons I’ll never understand the title was deemed unsuitable for use overseas.
I’ll be honest, when I sat down to watch Star Crash, I wasn’t told anything about it other than that the whole point of the movie was to ape Star Wars. In reality, the film is sort of beautifully confusing. It’s only an hour and a half long, but somehow it feels as though it goes on fo days.
It also contains such wonderful lines as:
I’ll scan him, with my computer waves.
Time for a little robot chauvinism.
Computer… Stop the flow of time!
Half way through the story, David Hasselhoff shows up, lightsabre in hand. It’s really wonderful. Another day, I’ll feature the Hasselhair, but for now, the evil Emperor of the Galaxy’s fantastic Dracula-mullet-thing will have to do.
There’s a bad guy called Zarn Arth. It’s amazing.